I'm With Her

"I am of the belief that having a daughter does not make a decent man."

I am wearing my notorious RBG tee shirt.

For the uninitiated, RBG stands for Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She’s a Supreme Court justice who is 87 years old and - literally - one of the bulwarks of our democracy.

I just listened to Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on the floor of the House chambers schooling her fellow male legislators on civility. She may not be considered in the same sentence as RBG, but I have a feeling that - one day - she will be considered one of America’s bulwarks of democracy. I don’t care what you might think about AOC’s politics or general manner, what you cannot take issue with is her ability to speak publicly and get her message across.

She - specifically - was addressing Representative Ted Yoho, yet another ‘Florida man’, who, after never having spoken with AOC prior to a few days ago, accosted her on the steps of the House of Representatives and, after a brief and apparently heated exchange, huffed off and audibly remarked “fucking bitch”. A journalist and another GOP representative were present and within hearing distance of the conversation and its aftermath.

Rep. Yoho’s ‘issue’ with Rep. Ocasio-Cortez was that he vehemently disagreed that poverty and unemployment could possibly have contributed to the rise in the crime rate. I am going to go out on a limb and suggest there might be an underlying ‘issue’ and that being Ted Yoho is uncomfortable around women with an opinion.

I have no clue as to the origin of the name Yoho, but the guy looks like a character from The Office and I am not talking about any of the characters of color. He is your average, balding, middle-aged white male. Replete with the Men’s Wearhouse attire.

He supposedly apologized the day before but his ‘apology’ included this statement:

"I cannot apologize for my passion or for loving my god, my family and my country." 

I’m sorry but Ted Yoho’s god, family and country have nothing to do with Ted Yoho’s inability to be civil. I am also sorry but that is not an apology of any kind.

I’m guessing the young and vibrant representative from Brooklyn, New York, scares the living hell out of truculent fuddy duddies like Yoho. She’s smart, prepared, well-spoken and wildly popular. It is the women in the House of Representatives like Katie Porter, Ilhan Omar, Ayanna Presley, Donna Shalala, Deb Haaland, Tammy Duckworth, Val Demings and many others who are leading the charge to return America to leadership. Astute observers will recognize that those are all Democrats. I can’t blindly name any female GOP representative, except for Liz Cheney, and that’s because she’s Dick Cheney’s daughter and because the remainder of the female reps are quieter than church mice.

Just as Ted Yoho likes it.

Here is a quote from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s statement today:

“It is not about one incident. It is cultural. It is a culture of lack of impunity, of accepting violence and violent language against women. An entire structure of power that supports that. Because, not only have I been spoken to disrespectfully, particularly by members of the Republican Party, and by elected officials of the Republican Party, not just here, but the president of the United States last year told me to “Go Home” to another country with the implication being that I don’t even belong in America. . . .

Dehumanizing language is not new. And what we are seeing is that incidents like these are happening in a pattern. This is a pattern of an attitude towards women and dehumanization of others.”

But there was more. Much more.

“I am of the belief that having a daughter does not make a man decent. Having a wife does not make a decent man. Treating people with dignity and respect makes a decent man. And, when a decent man messes up, as we are all bound to do, he tries his best and does apologize. Not to save face, not to win a vote. He apologizes - genuinely - to repair and acknowledge the harm done and we all move on.”

Remember Michelle Obama expressing the sentiment of “When They go low, we go high”? This is an example of that, but with a bite.

From what I can tell from her complete 10 minute statement, she would have accepted his apology from a couple of days ago without comment if he had actually apologized. Instead, he chose to duck behind the curtain of obfuscation and mealy mouth triteness by invoking his religion and family as if that gave him a hall-pass from truly and genuinely apologizing.

America is, and has always been, a grand cultural experiment. But the head of our state, the president, is incapable of leading all of America. He is incapable of embodying all of the truths we hold to be self-evident. He is incapable of setting a positive role model from his abuse of social media to the wearing of a mask during a pandemic. He is incapable of accepting responsibility for. . . well, anything, and he is incapable of ever admitting a mistake.

My father used to have a plaque in his office in Port Aransas that read, “I have my faults but being wrong is not one of them.” Our president is not even willing to admit to having faults.

When the leader of your country, tribe, community or company is inept, and sometimes worse than inept, the success or future of your country, tribe, community or company will be in doubt.

It has been said over and over again, and I have said it myself, the president alone is a symptom, not the disease. He did not invent all of the maladies that afflict us as a nation. However, his inability to speak to what divides us, with even an iota of compassion, is devastating. Crippling even.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s encounter with Ted Yoho is indicative of the climate and culture our current president is happy to foment. It’s sickening. It’s reactionary. It’s neolithic.

By the way, do you know what the name Alexandria means?

Defender of humankind.

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AOC’s full statement.

Also, if you have not seen videos from the three brothers who founded Meidas Touch, you must be living in a cave in France sheltering in place out of reach of the various radio frequencies, magnetic radiation and cellular signals. They are all effective but this is the latest.