One of my favorite quotes from Clerks, a movie full of memorable quotes and raunchy vignettes, was Randall telling Dante that, ironically, he loved going to social gatherings - like the funeral they attended and wound up getting kicked out of - but he really didn’t like people much. I get that. I fully comprehend where he is coming from.
We are a nation filled with loners these days, more so than ever, and while some of us loners are okay with being alone for the good of humanity, it’s good to remember there are many who are not. It’s not making the headlines but I suspect depression and suicide are on the uptick. So, take a moment out of your day to check up on the people you know are alone.
I happen to be a happy introvert.
I am just as happy - a majority of the time - receiving visitors. That’s the Randall from Clerks connection.
One of the things I loved about working out of Seattle, back when my rafting company’s office was located just off the interstate, was when friends or friends who were guides would pop in unexpectedly for a long chat or an extended sidebar at a local eatery. It was a welcome respite from, “Hello. This is Orion, can you hold please?” Or, how in the hell are we going to raft three different rivers on the same day with this number of vehicles and this number of guides and this number of boats?
I enjoyed the diversion and, whether you know it or not, people attracted to guiding are a fascinating subset of the population. And I mean that in the most positive way possible. They’re resilient, resourceful, creative and tend to view the world through a rose colored prism while ruminating outside of the societal box. I could write a year’s worth of columns about the people who have passed through my guiding business.
But I’ll get to discussing guides, and all the wonderful lives I’ve bumped into, another day.
The internet has been prepping us for this time of social distancing for a couple of decades now. Imagine how further isolated you would feel without it. The pandemic, which is clearly not a hoax, has bumped concerns about Facebook harvesting thousands of our data points off the front pages. Social media is surging more than ever because it is the only safe and responsible place to be social.
At least until those mythical millions and millions of coronavirus test kits get evenly distributed throughout the land.
Something called Animal Crossing, which sounds like Second Life with cute animals, is so popular people are holding wedding ceremonies IN GAME! Which means they are definitely proposing in game as well. Which means they must be courting in game for some period of time. Which means……oh, my lord!
I’ve avoided FaceTime for as long as I’ve owned an iPhone because I never relished talking on a phone to begin with and the idea of casting my surly mug into the ethernet when I might have a stray nose hair, or a kale particle in my teeth, or my hair in disarray was just too much for this introverted, narcissistic curmudgeon. These days I’m connecting with family and loved ones daily via FaceTime or Zoom. And, even though my siblings can all be safely called Boomers, we’re Zooming and FaceTiming like it’s second nature.
As for my grooming concerns? I found an easy solution. I wear a ski mask.
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I like podcasts. One of my favorites is Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History. Some people cannot tolerate Malcolm’s voice but I happen to find it soothing. And I love his contrarian perspectives. Check it out. Hours of listening. The podcast about Elvis and parapraxis is fascinating.
Also, despite being okay sheltering-in-place with books, The New Yorker, regular FaceTime chats, Sally, video games and Netflix - oh, right - and house projects, I’d like for the pandemic to end sooner rather than later. Especially since my livelihood is considered non-essential. This site called Folding@Home that my good friend Steve Laboff introduced me to might help accelerate finding a solution to the novel coronavirus. Steve has been “folding” for about two weeks.
This is their pitch: Folding@home (FAH or F@h) is a distributed computing project for simulating protein dynamics, including the process of protein folding and the movements of proteins implicated in a variety of diseases. It brings together citizen scientists who volunteer to run simulations of protein dynamics on their personal computers. Insights from this data are helping scientists to better understand biology, and providing new opportunities for developing therapeutics.
Do your research and as I like to say to my guides, “Use your best judgement.”